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I am, I am not

by Modern Mason

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1.
You are Here 02:12
2.
Arthritis 03:38
3.
Yeganeh 08:55
4.
The majority of truth is relative to the individual or in some cases, the group. There is no real purpose at all. But we are able to compose one for ourselves. The entirety of literally everything is infinity – on forever in every direction and even caving in sometimes. Time is a continuous circle, repeating forever, over and over. We are limited to the tangent of time that we call life – to repeat without repeating. There is an infinite chain of causes constantly in vibration and there’s this sensation that I can’t help but scream out! God does not exist! And whatever it is, does. What you look for is what you find, or maybe just to redefine – as whatever it is, exists within us. We have created our Creator! And for a good fucking reason too. The misinterpretations and extremism go without saying, but they are just metaphors to comprehend the things in which we cannot understand. But again, it is subjective speculation to some degree – to even fathom you, I must truly understand me. Embrace the end of the world as an idea. Love it, understand it, and fear it. Bring awareness to the manifestation that you can easily become the things you hate. Become it in the mind and let it dig its hole, in the end, you might find something new. I am, I am not. I am not alive. I am dead inside. I do not enjoy it. I'm disconnected from the surface level intellect - the delusion of the ideologue politic. We're here and we're gone in the blink of an eye from the hole that rips the sky - the portal that tares apart everything we know, tells us where we came from and where we will go. We become so violently angry - like water forgetting to flow. We've forgotten how insignificant we all are with the illusion of egotistical pride. This short tangent of time comes down to three things: Story, Sex and Suicide. And the monsters that we really are repress into our minds and behind the doors of suffering is where they will hide. They come out at night and they come out in day, they come out in the truths that others say. To the abyss is where I stare because the American Dream is a fucking nightmare. Climbing the latter is just an illusion if we watch others fall. in the end that's all there is - everything at once and nothing at all. To be remembered and forgot, Sam I am, Sam I am not.
5.
Poly Pockets 12:11
Oh my sweet child, how can you see behind those blind eyes? This illusion we build of the world is not good. There is no truth in lies and that's all we tell. What's the chance that you are you when you could have easily been the things you hate? oh my sweet child, now can you see? Then continue to crawl through the brush and those thorns you hate so much will continue to poke.
6.
7.
If we shall fall again, who with pick us up? No one will wait for you so don't wait for them. Nihilism is in and so is narcissism. Bring it down Lets go for a slow walk through the valley of death Don't forget to breathe in the last cigarette Kill yourself and take me with you A snail crawls across a knife and it survives Is this all life is? what does it mean to be alive? You haven't lived until you've die, can I survive myself? You haven't lived until you've died, and that's still not enough. You will die, that's all there is, that's all there ever was. Kill yourself and take me too, 'cause i can't see it through. Well, you made it. I guess it wasn't that bad after all. This place can be truly beautiful if you wish to see it that way, or it can be quite the opposite - but, it doesn't matter that much.

about

This is about the question of continuing life - is it really worth it? It explores the themes of the inner child being locked away and it's suppression exploding into meaningless anger, the conflation of love and obsession, opening the locked doors in our minds and travelling through the valley of death to come out cleaner on the other side, and the fundamental fact that none of this shit really matters.

I wonder if people will actually listen to this and understand it, or just pass it off as something negative. I feel I waste my time writing music and I don't think I have much left in me. I do not enjoy life and for some reason music is how I choose to waste my time.

I can't wait for death as it is the real experience.

credits

released January 26, 2019

Recorded by Andrew Kohl.

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tags

about

Modern Mason Toronto, Ontario

Samuel C. Mason

Classical Guitar
Post-rock

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